While it's great to write about our exercising and eating on a surface level, I had something much different in mind when I started this blog. I hadn't really needed it before this point, but now I am so there. I meant for this blog to record some of our deepest thoughts, insecurities and highest point when it came to trying for our 10K goal.
Right now I am sitting at the computer with my pants completely soaked because I wet my pants when Stephanie and I finished our run tonight. We ran 3 miles, with this last 3/4 mile being completely and contiuously uphill. It was awful. I hated every single minute of it. I felt like swearing the entire time and I was so jealous and mad at Stephanie. She had a baby 7 weeks ago and she is totally skinny and totally back in shape. She has her life way more together than I do and I can't even finish 3 miles while it seems like a piece of cake for her. I'm not writing this to offend Stephanie or get sympathy from you guys, I'm just trying to be totally honest and demonstrate how desperate I am for support and love from you guys. It's great to confide in James and he is my best friend, but it means something extra special when I can confide in people who are trying for the same running goal as me.
I feel totally out of control of my life right now. Besides the running being excruciatingly difficult, I cannot get my eating under control. Also, we're struggling a lot with Candace and obedience, but I won't get into that right now. I'm praying a lot about her though and I will do my first fast in over a year this coming Sunday.
Thanks for all your love and support. As of right now, I never want to go running again.